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But I certainly did. I became somewhat fixated on it. It wasn’t even really sexual to me. I wanted my son to know that relief. I was heartbroken to think he would never be able to masturbate, never ejaculating unless his body forced it out in the night, which I never found in his underwear. I wanted him to feel that release. To orgasm.That’s why I found myself laying on my bed with him late one evening not long after my conversation with the therapist, an idea growing in my mind. Michael slept in my bed often, though he had his own in my room where he slept at times. It wasn’t unusual for him to be naked. I changed his clothes or bathed him daily, so his nudity was nothing new. He was on his back, and his beautiful penis was erect and bobbing slightly. Michael never pulled the sheets over himself before we turned off the lights to sleep. This night, I had something to do before I covered his naked body.Yes, Michael was my son, but in many ways, our emotional relationship was much. We both cried and I held her until her nurse came in and told me that I could come back the following day, but I needed to go home.The nurse also told me that. It would be a while before Helen could come home. She had to stay in the hospital for 72 hours for observation, and then she'd have to be evaluated by a therapist, before she would be released.When I got home I went inside and sat down on my couch. Things were moving way too fast for me to process them.Someone knocked on my door. I got up to answer it, and saw that it was Lucy Ricardo again. She handed me a sealed envelope with my name on it. She told me that a woman had knocked on her door and told her to give me the envelope. I thanked her and went back inside.Lucy hadn't wanted to leave. I think her natural curiosity and penchant for getting into trouble, made her really want to know what was in the envelope.Alone in my living room I opened the envelope and was shocked like never before as my world the way I knew it ended..
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